Lousologist

noun. One who has scientific knowledge of lice.

Mineralogists, astronomers, ornithologists, and lousologists.
A memoir by Lady Holland, Sydney Smith (1835)

Of all the disrespected professions, lousologists are at the top of the list. Or perhaps the bottom. No one else devotes themselves so selflessly to the study of a creature that the rest of the world is trying to kill.

But seriously folks, it’s a seriously serious problem. Make sure to check yourself and your children for lice as often as humanly possible.

I think you know how much I love name-calling… this is a great word to use for that noble purpose. Call someone a lousologist, not because they study lice (who the heck does that anyway?), but because you don’t care what they do!

It might also be a good one to use when you meet people at a bar and need something silly to talk about. “What do I do? Oh, I’m a lousologist.”