Achage

noun. The state of having an ache.

O, the Pope could dispense with his Cardinalate, and his achage, and his breakage.
Queen Mary, Lord Alfred Tennyson (1878)

My stomache, dude, major achage. I did a little Googling to see if this word is actually in usage… not really. Sure it’s a nonce-word according to the OED, but some of these words sound like slang that the young folks are using. I saw a couple uses spelled “acheage” but not a whole lot as it is listed in the dictionary.

I thought it would be more common. The “-age” (as in blockage, baggage, plumage)Β ending isn’t all that rare. I was wrong. I admit it. I had a thought and it was incorrect. I apologize. I’ll try to never be wrong ever again.

Consider using this word the next time you need to call in sick. “Sorry, can’t come to work today. I have some achage in or around my epididymis.”